Photos, Cathedrals and Families

So it's been a while, and I have been busy and it's summer.  None of these good reasons I know but still a reason to be away from the laptop or a substantial amount of time.  But I shall make up for it now with photos galore.  Or a few anyway.

So a summer of living at home has its benefits.  As well as getting to see a lot more of my mum I have been able to get rid of a lot of my stuff and even pick up some new junk - including a really old digital camera.  Which takes surprisingly good pictures!

Last weekend was spent mostly at the gorgeous Llandaff Cathedral in Cardiff with the Bearded One.  It is a truly beautiful building tucked away at the bottom of the hill.

Llandaff

I spent a lot of time listening to the Bearded One sing with his choir - with a surprise meeting of half the family thrown in for good measure!  But there were all lovely and the kids gave us an excuse to go and play at being Romans - the boys more so than anyone else!

Soldiers

In all a rather fun weekend.  Next weekend it's off up north to see him again.  Train changeovers, suitcases to work, the whole shabang.  But it'll all be worth it I'm sure.

Anticipation

A shiver down your spine
Hurricanes in your stomach
Thoughts racing through your skull
Circling round
Returning to the same point

Minutes feel like hours
Hours feel like days
Time crawls on

So close and yet so far

It bites at you
Nudges you gently
Paws at your ankles
Persistent, unending, unceasing

Changes....

Today I have come to realise how much uni has changed me. Firstly, I am not nearly as happy with my own company as I used to be. I miss my flatmates, I miss the Bearded One, I miss going to the pub for a pitcher of cocktails just because we could. Turns out I need people - who'd have thunk it!! Not even my parents beautiful pooches are enough company - though I appear to be a good cushion!

Lou-Lou :-D

Also I need more purpose. I miss having to juggle lectures, deadlines, rehearsals and a social life. All of these are fairly empty at the moment what with everyone going back home. I am attempting to amuse myself, but Yate is a small place, and there's only so much you can do with limited funds!

So all in all I find myself counting down to when exciting things will actually begin happening again. 9 days until the Bearded One returns. 2 months until the house mates return. If only time would pass just a little quicker...

Boredom leads to exploration...

Flowers In The Rain

Everyone has moved out, it's still another day until the Bearded One returns to the land of the living, and boredom has well and truly set in!  So what did I do?  I went for a walk in the rain and decided to finally explore the place I've been living for a year.  Oldbury Court Estate was almost completely deserted but still looked gorgeous!  But what happened?  Yeah, I didn't check my batteries before I left so I got four shots before it died on me.  But these flowers came out beautifully thankfully!  Next week more exploring in store so hopefully more shots in store!!

Didn't

Ripping tearing throbbing bleeding dying
A thousand daggers stabbing
Too slow
Waited too long
Thought too hard
Should have acted
Should have moved
Could have saved it all
Could have changed the course
Could have made an impact

Didn't

O Melancholy

To hides ones face in vain attempt disguise

The sorrow shining from thy face and eyes

What sorrow’s this, that tears a heart apart

And wrenches cries, unknown, from deep your soul

How can one feel this burning, ripping fire

And yet stay whole and walk upon the earth

Is purpose here, where footsteps once did fall

It seems it hides elsewhere

Nothing is here

More than nothing

?

Loss.

Heart wrenching. Wrenching cries. Crying tears.

Hide your face away

Nothing is all there is now

O melancholy

Missing You

I miss you
I don't know why
I think of you but I think of others
I want to see you but I want to see others

I miss your face and how it feels beneath my fingers
I miss your smile and how it feels beneath my lips
I miss your breath and how it feels on my body
I miss your voice and how it sounds in my heart

Your face is not enough now
Your smile is not enough now
Your breath is not enough now
Your voice is not enough now

I need your touch on my skin
Need your lips on my cheek
Your weight on my chest
You in me

I want to see you because there is no other
I think of you because there is no other
I know why
I miss you

Day Trip

Windows

Sunday was spent on a day trip at the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch railway with the bearded one.  The sun was shining, the trains were shiny and beautiful and the company was fab.  Went up and down the line several times on various different engines and had a surprisingly fun day!  This was the only shot I was brave enough to lean out the window for, and I'm really quite happy with the reflections of the flowers in the nearest window.

Sonnet

The way you laugh and hold my grasping hand,
The way you smile and kiss my hungry lips,
The way I love you more than I can stand;
Your eyes, your arms, your fingertips.
You always make me smile when I feel blue,
You know the things that turn my tears to joy.
Your words cast spells, make me think just of you.
The only thing I want now is you boy.
I want to share my day, my ups and downs,
I want you in my arms, to feel you near.
I want to see your smiles, and more - your frowns.
When we're together there's no thing I fear.
My world is you - my life, my love, my heart;
My love runs deep - these words are but the start...

A Summer's Day (working title)

Breathing.  Sighing.  Talking.  Laughing.

A summer breeze through the still bare trees.

Breathing.

Napping in the sun on a crowded green.

Sighing.

Kisses and hugs among nibbles and mugs.

Talking.

Throwing and kicking and missing a ball.

Laughing.

Hoping.  Wishing.  Holding.  Dreaming.

Watching from a distance while sitting in the centre.

Hoping.

Knowing that this day was unique in every way.

Wishing.

Photographs.  A video.  Building memories.

Holding.

The first fun of the summer still to come.

Dreaming.

Dancing.  Hugging.  Kissing.  Sleeping.

The hold all wrong, to laughs instead of song.

Dancing.

Two arms, two souls, two hearts, connected.

Hugging.

They meet, they stay, meant to be this way.

Kissing.  Sleeping.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Today, something a bit different for you.  I'm feeling sentimental, so I wrote.  This is what came out.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

When the train stops and the door closes, we hide in our cocoons and wrap ourselves in memories of a time that was.  A time when we were all together, all one, connected by our passion and our love.  Time was not present then.  We lived for the moment, for the next pose, next step, next note on the scale.

What is to become of us now?  We will return, but we will not be us.  We will be broken, we will not be complete.  Those that were will no longer be.  At least, will no longer be with us.

All we have now are memories.  Frozen images and empty songs.  We are changed.  We are each other, and we are ourselves.  We have taken, we have given, we have emerged anew.

Summer begins...

Summer Portrait

And so the summer has begun.  To celebrate, me and the flatmates sat out on the lawn in front of our block of flats and did absolutely nothing in between lectures.  Except play tag and make daisy chains.  But isn't that what the summer is for?  Yes, I appreciate it's only March, but we're British and sunshine equates to summer for us.

I love how the natural light makes her look even more beautiful than she usually does.  Something about the light bouncing off her hair.  

Post show blues

Titanic cast

A photo not of my own today, and a slightly shamed face!  It has been so long since I have even looked at this blog due to the business and excitement of performing in Titanic the Musical at the Redgrave Theatre Bristol with the UWE CPA.  Quite easily one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life.  I don't think I've ever experienced such closeness in any cast I have worked with, and I sincerely hope the majority of them come back for next years production.  I have made some fantastic friends and met some truly wonderful people who I will never forget.  I wish we could keep going with the fun of rehearsals and the excitement of performances, but alas we have come to the end of our voyage.

So a big thank you to everyone involved - I can't believe I won't see you all three times a week, and I don't think I can deal with the fact some of you won't be there next year!  I will treasure my award for being 'a brave soldier' (performing with damaged ribs is never fun!) and will look back forever on the numerous pictures whenever I feel glum.

Love to you all.  Alas, we will not meet tomorrow....

Thanks to Hannah Baker for the photo!

Sunset

Flaming Sunset

I've been struggling somewhat fitting in blogging with new year exams and getting ready for term two at uni, but as I was sat doing some reading this beautiful sunset appeared through my bedroom window.  Admittedly, it's not the best shot as I am still playing with all of my camera's settings, but the colours are just fab.  *sigh*

Back to studying

Just chillin

The holidays are now officially over - got up this morning and started back on the studying.  The dog, however, continues to lie and look hard done by.  He did have the decency to keep me company while I was reading, though the look of disdain he gave me when I took this says everything.  I got a new app on my iPhone as well, which I took this on believe it or not!  Love playing with new photo apps.

NYE at home

Candid Camera

Small party at home to celebrate the new year, and I took about ten decent pictures.  I did try, but the camera moved around the room and I lost track of it for most of the night.  Candid snaps are my favourite!