Happy New Year

A new year generally means new resolutions that won't be kept, new diaries that aren't written in and new diets that don't last.  And so I am boycotting them all.  Well, I bought a new diary but that's because I'm addicted to stationary.  I am not making resolutions, I am making changes.  But I will not punish myself if I forget.

- I will write something every day.  Whether that be a love letter to a stranger, a note to myself in my diary, a post it note to a housemate.

- I will fill in my diary with everything important, and everything that isn't.

- Every day I will tell someone that I love them.  I know a lot of wonderful people, and they all deserve to know how special they are (some in more ways than one!).

- I will continue to eat what I want, when I want it.  So long as it is in moderation.

- I will get some exercise into my life, slowly but surely...

- I will (attempt to) cease leaving uni work until the last minute.  And I will enjoy it while it lasts!

And I think that's enough.  Through research for some uni projects and general life stuff I have come to realise more than ever that life is precious, short, and should be lived.  And on that note, I am going to live it.

A happy new year to you all, and hears to (hopefully) a more wordy 2013!

Photos, Cathedrals and Families

So it's been a while, and I have been busy and it's summer.  None of these good reasons I know but still a reason to be away from the laptop or a substantial amount of time.  But I shall make up for it now with photos galore.  Or a few anyway.

So a summer of living at home has its benefits.  As well as getting to see a lot more of my mum I have been able to get rid of a lot of my stuff and even pick up some new junk - including a really old digital camera.  Which takes surprisingly good pictures!

Last weekend was spent mostly at the gorgeous Llandaff Cathedral in Cardiff with the Bearded One.  It is a truly beautiful building tucked away at the bottom of the hill.

Llandaff

I spent a lot of time listening to the Bearded One sing with his choir - with a surprise meeting of half the family thrown in for good measure!  But there were all lovely and the kids gave us an excuse to go and play at being Romans - the boys more so than anyone else!

Soldiers

In all a rather fun weekend.  Next weekend it's off up north to see him again.  Train changeovers, suitcases to work, the whole shabang.  But it'll all be worth it I'm sure.

Anticipation

A shiver down your spine
Hurricanes in your stomach
Thoughts racing through your skull
Circling round
Returning to the same point

Minutes feel like hours
Hours feel like days
Time crawls on

So close and yet so far

It bites at you
Nudges you gently
Paws at your ankles
Persistent, unending, unceasing

Changes....

Today I have come to realise how much uni has changed me. Firstly, I am not nearly as happy with my own company as I used to be. I miss my flatmates, I miss the Bearded One, I miss going to the pub for a pitcher of cocktails just because we could. Turns out I need people - who'd have thunk it!! Not even my parents beautiful pooches are enough company - though I appear to be a good cushion!

Lou-Lou :-D

Also I need more purpose. I miss having to juggle lectures, deadlines, rehearsals and a social life. All of these are fairly empty at the moment what with everyone going back home. I am attempting to amuse myself, but Yate is a small place, and there's only so much you can do with limited funds!

So all in all I find myself counting down to when exciting things will actually begin happening again. 9 days until the Bearded One returns. 2 months until the house mates return. If only time would pass just a little quicker...

Boredom leads to exploration...

Flowers In The Rain

Everyone has moved out, it's still another day until the Bearded One returns to the land of the living, and boredom has well and truly set in!  So what did I do?  I went for a walk in the rain and decided to finally explore the place I've been living for a year.  Oldbury Court Estate was almost completely deserted but still looked gorgeous!  But what happened?  Yeah, I didn't check my batteries before I left so I got four shots before it died on me.  But these flowers came out beautifully thankfully!  Next week more exploring in store so hopefully more shots in store!!

Didn't

Ripping tearing throbbing bleeding dying
A thousand daggers stabbing
Too slow
Waited too long
Thought too hard
Should have acted
Should have moved
Could have saved it all
Could have changed the course
Could have made an impact

Didn't

O Melancholy

To hides ones face in vain attempt disguise

The sorrow shining from thy face and eyes

What sorrow’s this, that tears a heart apart

And wrenches cries, unknown, from deep your soul

How can one feel this burning, ripping fire

And yet stay whole and walk upon the earth

Is purpose here, where footsteps once did fall

It seems it hides elsewhere

Nothing is here

More than nothing

?

Loss.

Heart wrenching. Wrenching cries. Crying tears.

Hide your face away

Nothing is all there is now

O melancholy