Changes....

Today I have come to realise how much uni has changed me. Firstly, I am not nearly as happy with my own company as I used to be. I miss my flatmates, I miss the Bearded One, I miss going to the pub for a pitcher of cocktails just because we could. Turns out I need people - who'd have thunk it!! Not even my parents beautiful pooches are enough company - though I appear to be a good cushion!

Lou-Lou :-D

Also I need more purpose. I miss having to juggle lectures, deadlines, rehearsals and a social life. All of these are fairly empty at the moment what with everyone going back home. I am attempting to amuse myself, but Yate is a small place, and there's only so much you can do with limited funds!

So all in all I find myself counting down to when exciting things will actually begin happening again. 9 days until the Bearded One returns. 2 months until the house mates return. If only time would pass just a little quicker...

Boredom leads to exploration...

Flowers In The Rain

Everyone has moved out, it's still another day until the Bearded One returns to the land of the living, and boredom has well and truly set in!  So what did I do?  I went for a walk in the rain and decided to finally explore the place I've been living for a year.  Oldbury Court Estate was almost completely deserted but still looked gorgeous!  But what happened?  Yeah, I didn't check my batteries before I left so I got four shots before it died on me.  But these flowers came out beautifully thankfully!  Next week more exploring in store so hopefully more shots in store!!

Didn't

Ripping tearing throbbing bleeding dying
A thousand daggers stabbing
Too slow
Waited too long
Thought too hard
Should have acted
Should have moved
Could have saved it all
Could have changed the course
Could have made an impact

Didn't

O Melancholy

To hides ones face in vain attempt disguise

The sorrow shining from thy face and eyes

What sorrow’s this, that tears a heart apart

And wrenches cries, unknown, from deep your soul

How can one feel this burning, ripping fire

And yet stay whole and walk upon the earth

Is purpose here, where footsteps once did fall

It seems it hides elsewhere

Nothing is here

More than nothing

?

Loss.

Heart wrenching. Wrenching cries. Crying tears.

Hide your face away

Nothing is all there is now

O melancholy

Missing You

I miss you
I don't know why
I think of you but I think of others
I want to see you but I want to see others

I miss your face and how it feels beneath my fingers
I miss your smile and how it feels beneath my lips
I miss your breath and how it feels on my body
I miss your voice and how it sounds in my heart

Your face is not enough now
Your smile is not enough now
Your breath is not enough now
Your voice is not enough now

I need your touch on my skin
Need your lips on my cheek
Your weight on my chest
You in me

I want to see you because there is no other
I think of you because there is no other
I know why
I miss you

Day Trip

Windows

Sunday was spent on a day trip at the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch railway with the bearded one.  The sun was shining, the trains were shiny and beautiful and the company was fab.  Went up and down the line several times on various different engines and had a surprisingly fun day!  This was the only shot I was brave enough to lean out the window for, and I'm really quite happy with the reflections of the flowers in the nearest window.

Sonnet

The way you laugh and hold my grasping hand,
The way you smile and kiss my hungry lips,
The way I love you more than I can stand;
Your eyes, your arms, your fingertips.
You always make me smile when I feel blue,
You know the things that turn my tears to joy.
Your words cast spells, make me think just of you.
The only thing I want now is you boy.
I want to share my day, my ups and downs,
I want you in my arms, to feel you near.
I want to see your smiles, and more - your frowns.
When we're together there's no thing I fear.
My world is you - my life, my love, my heart;
My love runs deep - these words are but the start...